August 10, 2007

OK, so I am getting behind already - BUT, in my defence I have had a whirlwind couple of days. Alot of things are going on right now, and they are happy things, but things I just didn't expect to happen just yet. Because of this I am under alot of stress, but I remind myself that God will never give me anything that I can't handle.
Anyways, I was wondering what devotion to read today and I just happened to be reading in one of my devotional books and there was a devotion on hurting and I began to read it. It stated "There are times in the lives of all God' children when we are called on to suffer" and it quotes Romans 5:3-4 that "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope". Hmmm, I had to pray about this one alot. And I don't really think that they are putting this the right way at all and it really began to bother me. I am not a theologian or anything like that, but they way this was worded almost sounded like this person believes that God calls us to suffer or wants us to suffer. I don't believe that completely. I do believe that we leave doors open that can allow the enemy to enter and cause us suffering and that God might not prevent it, but I don't think that he would WANT me to suffer. It is true that we learn from our suffering and from our mistakes, but what suffering is OK and what suffering is not? When I do something wrong and suffer for it, I have brought it upon myself and need to learn from my mistake. But when I am suffering for no reason - like when I had my miscarriage - what is the point behind that suffering? I certainly didn't do anything deserving of it, and I refuse to believe that God allowed that to happen to me for a reason, or to make me a better person. At what point is it God and at what point is it Satan?
I am so confused by this. I do know that God allowed Satan to cause suffering to Job, however I am pretty sure that it was more of an isolated incident. I guess I just need to keep praying on this one b/c I really don't have an answer to this one.