August 13th, 2207

It has been a really long time since I sat in church and really felt genuinely convicted. Well, yesterday this was the case! I know that I am a little "extra emotional" right now, but it wasn't that. The message was about Living with a bigger vision and one of the questions was "in what areas have your focus in life, been on the temporary". How sad I thought, lately I think that all of my focus has been on the temporary. I mean I focus on my children's happiness, but I even do that with the wrong approach. If they want it, I buy it, but how is that going to help their spiritual well being? Maybe I have been so down lately b/c my focus is more on what I physically need and less on what I spiritually need. How can God use me and my gifts if my focus is not on them. In Luke 5 Christ called Simon Peter to drop everything and follow him. Am I willing to do the same? Would I give up my fancy mini-van with the DVD player to bless Christ? That is asking nothing, and yet it would be incredibly hard for me. I truly pray that God will deal with my heart because I can't take this stuff with me to heaven, but I can take my friend and my children. I am so thankful that God has opened my eyes and my heart to something that had become completely controlling to me. It comes down to what is important to me, my house or seeing my brother in heaven with me. I would give up everything I own to see the latter!